I heard a funny Halloween joke: How do Hillbillies celebrate Halloween? Give up? They pump kin! Now I should run a disclaimer or apology to all educated people from the greater Appalachian territories committed to eradicating antiquated stereotypes and all incest survivors as well, and probably some coven of witches in Oakland even for trotting out an insensitive little one liner laden with possible issues for some individuals, because here as we approach the new millennium the collective consciousness should have progressed beyond such unenlightened levels of thought such as a joke like that, right? Eat me. As we near the millennium we should free ourselves of the confines and shackles imposed on us by society such as the fully passé and transparent notion of political correctness and the sociological and even spiritual hierarchy implied by it. As I see it, the dawn of the new millennium should be met with a minimum of pretending. Wouldn’t that be unique! Imagine the truth instead of a series of studied responses to situations that might mean something to you if you weren’t white middle to upper-class American citizens, donning the proper mask on a stick for a variety of expressed ideological positions, feigning a deep concern with altruistic conviction just for appearances sake so others will note which rung of the humanitarian ladder you perch on and how near it is to the sky burial platform-the final transformation of the uber-enlightened. I’m over the yardstick of individual spirituality being based on such lame criteria as how many Free Tibet concerts you’ve attended, your drug trip at the last Burning Man, how many pierces you have, how “green” and cruelty-free your household sundries and body products are, or how you really feel about migrant field workers, desecrated Tibetan temples or the children working in sweatshops for Kathie Lee Gifford. It’s time we stop acting as if we really care about certain things just to be viewed as a better person with an enriched soul by others who are scrambling to be viewed in that same move-over-Mother-Teresa-and-Ghandi-the-light-of-inner-peace-shines-out-of-our-behinds way. This whole millennium thing is really starting to get a touch elitist-ask around if your own consciousness is at the proper level for it. There will always be people who know better than you if your soul is ytk ready-people who recycle always and have spent at least a summer or two wearing skirts, working the earth and checking vibes at Wolf Creek Oregon’s Faerie camp or wearing the earth on LSD in the desert for Burning Man. They know.
Now, back to Halloween. It suddenly came to mind as I was writing this that one year I saw possibly my all time favorite costume, on about three or four different people who had the same clever idea. It was the year that Indira Ghandi was assassinated, shot eight times, and I saw a few people wearing Sarongs with eight bloody spots and thought this was the naughtiest of all possible responses to a tragedy. I couldn’t stop laughing. Since that time I’ve always searched for a similar topical tragedy to emulate on Halloween but it just hasn’t presented itself. At press time I still haven’t figured out any particular costume and generally don’t go all out in that department, in fact I usually view the overall day with a bit of disdain as it usually stretches out to encompass several days of different events and costumed revelers acting out and drinking themselves sick on my street dressed as sexy fetish witches or Jason from Friday the 13th.
I’ve always considered Halloween as the official kick-off point for the entire holiday season, and you all probably know by now just how much I adore the whole glorious suicide, stress and good will towards men peak months. The millennium is certainly adding to the momentum of it all-this is the last Halloween of the millennium and this simple fact is likely prompting many folks to make it an extra special one, and there’s a variety of options and events to choose from to help make it memorable.
Top of my list for this year is an event just a day or so before the 31st that I’m thrilled to see and that is the play Grim Guignol at café DuNord. What Halloween would be complete without the charming elements of blood and gore and mayhem and crimes against the flesh, and what better place to see it than a restaurant/bar! Brought to you by the new theater company Unattended Children and brainchild of Omewenne, this ghastly trilogy of tales proves to be frightening, unnerving, and unusually gruesome, with a cast of talented committed actors whom my cat Handsome adores, as they have held most of their rehearsals here in my home and they lavish attention upon him, the most popular member of our household. However, once they dig into rehearsal, handsome gets all skittish and jumpy and cowers in my room, the screams of pain and plunder so vivid and frightening I caught him trying to phone the police the other day. At any rate, this is a very exciting first production from a theater group ready to stir up a somewhat droll and standard theatrical community. Imagine, theater with no gay nudity involved. It’s a novel idea. Remaining shows are Friday and Saturday, 7pm Café Dunord, no reservations $15.
On Halloween night there’s an event at the Filmore that I’m certain will be an absolute blast-it must be because every year for as long as I can remember the venue has featured the same attraction on Halloween, and that is the magnificent, kitschy spooky rockabilly wonderband The Cramps. Kicking around for over 20 years now, their sound has remained a consistent, bent and over the top psychobilly rock and roll that defies you to not have a grinning funfilled good time. Front man Lux Interior is like a mixture of Iggy, dead Ricky Nelson and a nasty stripper drag queen. He always starts a show all dolled up real pretty and progresses to a half naked soaking wet madman with a microphone shoved down is throat, breathing heavy. Guitarist Poison Ivy is the rock of this group-her rockabilly stylings a bonafide institution, her hair among the biggest in rock and roll and that never-changing deadpan disinterested sneer. She can also make a guitar sound just like a chicken! Deadbolt opens the show and they claim to be the scariest band alive. They’re a laugh riot live and a staple in many of my DJ shifts with their skewed sense of surf guitar horror humor. Cool show to see at a great friendly and historical venue.
Across town at the Maritime Hall is quite possibly the definitive Halloween show when The Creatures return to San Francisco yet again. In a move that has been met with very favorable responses both from live shows and in record sales as well, Siouxsee and the Banshees pared down to the experimental duo of Budgie and Siouxsee known as the Creatures and recorded new material and have been thoroughly enchanting audiences with their shows. It seems the enigmatic Siouxsee has really hit upon a creative realm that she seems to be quite happy with. With the Banshees on hiatus after a long interesting life, The Creatures seem to be bristling with a new energy possibly afforded by the freedom of their non-affiliation with Geffen, the banshees label. The Creatures are distributed by Sioux records-her own label. My friends Adam and Michael the Canadians are certain that this Halloween night concert will be the best choice of events for the last Halloween of the millennium.
Finally there is one other event I thought I would mention as a fun choice for Halloween and that is The Hole In The Wall Saloon, where I will be dj ing the entire night and I have distinct plans to play the most frightening and scariest of sets ever. I’m not talking that cutesy Monster Mash type of scary music, just lots of stuff from the darker side of things and few other audio surprises. Remember this is the last Halloween of the millennium so I’m gonna be giving it my all and trying to scare even the most jaded Satanists and serial killers and cannibals and mothers.